Character Backstory: Astos Zarahemla

(A background story I wrote for a Savage Worlds game, based on Final Fantasy)

-Our hero jumps out of a two story window. Quickly an elderly looking Hume peeks out the broken window.

Elderly man: “GET OVER HERE YOU SPOONY DRAGOON!”

-Astos, holding a bag filled with gil, looks back at the building while running away.

Astos: “I’m sorry for banging and bailing! But you get what you pay for!”

-A young Hume girl with red pigtails approaches the elderly man.

Young Hume Girl: “Father! I am a grown woman; I can very well lay with whomever I please!”

Elderly man: “GET THAT MAN!”

-Guards approach Astos.

Astos: Now, now gentlemen, my services are strictly for women, so… I might as well jump.

-With a mighty leap Astos reaches the tip of a nearby church tower. While at the top of the church tower, Astos takes a chance to look around the Trade City of Sal Ghidos.

Panoramic shot of the city

-Astos jumps from the top of the church tower into some nearby slums. When Astos reaches the ground, two shady figures approach Astos.

Biggs: Sem ye ar los mate…

Wedge: Undoubtedly so! Fortunately for you, we are amiable folk!

Biggs: So fur jus fiddy gil, we let you go!

Astos: Aren’t you two a lovely couple… A dim witted buffoon and a man with a speech impediment!

Biggs: Uh… Boss… ich one is meh?

-Wedge pulls out a switch blade

Wedge: Why you!!!!

Astos: Hey, hey! Look! Settle down! We’re all cut from the same cloth here guys… Look, I might not have much, BUT, I can use some of this gil to swindle some poor fools that live in one of these slums.

Wedge: Oh, and what of it?

Biggs: Yeh! Wat of it!?

Astos: Well… You two bright men let me go for now… And I promise I’ll be back with a even bigger amount of gil, for all of us!

Wedge: That a fact?

Astos: Hey! I’ve got my back against the wall; I ain’t the worst that you’ve seen! I’ll even throw in a pinky swear for good measure!

Wedge: Hmmm… This does seem like a most profitable transaction!

Astos: Although… If I had a little more gil, I know I’ll get us even MORE gil. How about it gentlemen? Willing to let go of a few gil, to double, no, TRIPPLE, your gil!?

Biggs: Aw shucks! Zat dos sem gud!

Wedge: My accomplice here is correct, we are both willing and able to triple our losses!

-Biggs and Wedge give Astos two bags with gil. Astos eagerly takes the bags and leaves the city trough the slums.

Astos: Heh… Fools…

FADE OUT

-A few hours later, Astos is resting near a river. Suddenly the silence is broken by a scream.

????: AAAAASTOOOOOOOS!

-A woman dressed in a brown robe holding a greataxe in her back, runs towards Astos. Astos looks in her direction and jumps high in the air and lands behind her.

Astos: Ciel! Darling! It’s been too long! It could have been longer… But runners can’t be choosers I guess…

Ciel: YOU LEFT ME AT THE ALTAR AND BROKE MY HEART! I’M HERE TO BREAK YOUR LEGS!

-Ciel swings her enormous axe and Astos gracefully jumps over it.

Astos: I thought I had already explained… I was cold, you offered your cottage and I offered my services… It’s only natural.

Ciel: You stayed at my cottage for over a month… YOU MADE ME YOURS! YOU MUST MARRY ME!

Astos: I’m not a Geomancer… I don’t follow those hermetic customs… Now if you excuse me, I’m on my way back home to Rabanastre!

Ciel: NOT SO FAST!

-Ciel closes her eyes and places left hand over her right eye.

Ciel: I sense darkness in you! I must cleanse you!

-Astos looks at Ciel stupefied.

Astos: Look… That whole dark cult thing happened ONCE! I was drunk, I passed out and I ended up in that dungeon… All those cultists are dead now; you’ve been on about that darkness ever since I told you about that. Besides! I have important business to get to!

-Astos proceeds to quickly move away, to which Ciel block him with his shield.

Ciel: Why must you leave so far away!? Why must you be so cruel!?

Astos: You know me, I go up and nothing can get me down. You got it though. I’ve seen the toughest around. And I know, baby, just how you feel. But I told you… I’m in the hunt for that elusive squirrel that somehow has money and sometimes swords and shields!

Ciel: NO SUCH CREATURE EXISTS! I swear… IF YOU LEAVE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN TO THE ENDS OF IVALICE!

Astos: Well… As a friend of mine would say: “gud luk whi zat!”

-Astos jumps high into the canopy of a nearby forest.

Ciel: YOU ARE MINE VIERA! MIIIIIIIIIINE!

FADE OUT

-A day later, Astos reached the base of Mt. Germias.

-Astos lies resting below a tree opening his gil pouch revealing a bundle of gil.

Astos: Hmm… How much is there in total… Huh! Not bad! Five hundred gil… I’ll send them half now… Sarah, Cid, little Alus… Dad will be home soon… Hah, might as well jump…

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